this is the reason why I still don't have a christmas tree. well, I have one...a crappy little silver one that I got at Ikea for $20 years ago and has really seen better days. for ages I have searched for the perfect tree...every year around November, I start thinking: "this is the year. this year I'll buy a tree"....and yet still no tree.
this year the problem is compounded by the fact that I now live with Mal, Josh's cat, who promptly tackled the Ikea tree to the floor when I put it up. then, she crawled inside it and got stuck. so now even if I found the perfect tree, I don't know how long it would survive.
here's the dream tree:
yea, that wouldn't last a day. Mal would climb it like King Kong. this one hangs from the ceiling, but costs $350. for some sticks on a pole? sorry, I meant for a masterpiece of modern simplicity?
she couldn't hurt this tree, but our guests might think we just have termites...
or there's this one, which, while it's literally the saddest and least festive thing you could put in your living room and call a "tree", at least you'll be able to reach the smoke detector when those candles set the greasy takeout containers on fire.
ah hell, maybe I'll just do this.