looks pretty on the hanger doesn't it?
look at that gorgeous Noro yarn...so many colors and interesting nubby textures...
ok, time to put it on! (insert needle scratching on record here)
hmmmmm...it's really more caftan, less "tee". ok, it's a dress now. put on some tights and sassy boots.
yea, that's not working....ok, it's "insouciant"...let's try a hand on the hip! (thus proving there is a waist under there somewhere)
ok that's a little better, but you can't walk around like that all day. let's try moving!
ok, bad idea, moving actually appears to anger it. it's getting bigger. no more moving!
yea, so basically this sweater will be perfect on me if I'm ever pregnant with octuplets. (the photos above are the most flattering ones I took, if that tells you anything.) before you blame the first-time sweater knitter, this matches the finished measurements in the pattern pretty much exactly. my gauge was spot on, and after blocking, the bust on mine is actually a couple inches smaller (!!), and the length is a few inches longer. and I made the EXTRA SMALL.
I imagine the large size would make a lovely cozy for a mini-cooper.
what this has really taught me is to choose my patterns more carefully. I picked the Espenson because it seemed really easy for a beginner (and it was). it's basically a rectangle with a neck hole. when I looked at other people's projects on Ravelry, not many ladies were really rocking it. that should have been the first red flag....and I saw that the finished bust size on the XS was 60 freaking inches, and even that didn't stop me, for some reason.
it's one thing if you take a chance on a sweater that's half off on the Anthro website, and it could either be really funky and unique or really frumpy and bad, but hey you can always return it if it's bad. when you spend a month knitting something, using yarn you really love and were saving for something special, you should probably choose a little more wisely.
so for now this is going in a drawer and will not be worn, at least until I maybe grow a giant tumor that I need to roll around next to me on a cart.
as long as the tumor is "insouciant", this will be perfect.